We got to the office of Live Smart Homes at 2:05. We had made an appointment. We were left to sit and wait in their overly warm office entrance while crappy music played.

We overheard a young woman listen to a complaint about a leak in one of the buildings while we waited.

After about 15 minutes, which felt much longer, a woman came out from the back to take us to view a one-bedroom flat.

We enter the building entrance to the right of their office. There are workmen making a huge racket, apparently refurbishing some flats.

We enter the flat.

To the left there are two closets. One is mostly taken up by a hot water heater. One is mostly taken up with a clothes dryer.

To the right there is a serviceable bathroom. One of the marketing highlights is that new tenants get a fresh shower curtain.

There is a shoebox of a kitchen – with a washing machine [clothing], microwave, half size fridge built in. Only one person would be able to fit at a time, and with no place to sit, I guess you’re not really meant to eat at home.

The bedroom is completely taken up by a double bed. The room is so small you can’t really stand at the foot of the bed. You can stand to the side of the bed, across from which is the built-in closets, covered with mirror doors. Ugly, but serviceable, and your only clothing storage space.

The living room is almost completely taken up by a not-too-comfortable two-seat sofa covered in cheap blue fabric. Across from it is a “fireplace”, with electric heater. In the corner is another marketing highlight, you get a small TV over a VCR (VIDEO Machine) in the corner of the room. Is this 1990? Does anyone still have videos, that they use?!

The best part of the living room is the hideous wallpaper. Flowers on the bottom half of the walls, split by a wallpaper border and intense stripes on the top half. It is ugly and makes the room look even smaller.

I think it would be psychologically damaging to assaulted by this aesthetic every day. I might become the woman in The Yellow Wallpaper, completely insane, minus the post-partum depression.

Are they worried people will make the walls dirty? [Dirt would probably get lost in the busy design of it.] Kevin’s theory is that they bought it cheaply in bulk. The aesthetic is of an anonymous, ugly hotel, that you don’t mind staying in for a night because it’s cheap and you’re surprised by how clean it is.

Here’s the problem…it’s not cheap…Non-refundable credit checks at £75 each [£150 total] which include a change of locks. £500 security deposit. £425 Rent per month [Slightly larger one-bedrooms are £435, 2 bedrooms start at £465.].

The water bill is included, as is a membership for 2 to the nearby Springs gym [£60-£100 value]. Any home repairs are done by the management company. Council Tax is not included and is an additional £95 a month nor is the Electric Bill.

This is a lot of money for a shoe box, even one that is centrally located. As described above the one bedroom we looked at was really one medium-sized room divided into the different areas with walls. Two people could not live in it.

The sad thing is it would be much better as a studio without the wall separating the bedroom and living room. And, it would look larger if you painted the walls a light color and/or added a mirror. I am not a decorator…even I know this stuff!

I could really only see it as an option for a single person without a lot of stuff, who is almost never home, possibly blind.

Thankfully, we have another option. There is a small three-bedroom house we can rent for less money that is less central. No contest.

Free download of The Yellow Wallpaper or purchase from amazon below.

The Yellow Wallpaper